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Ian Paisley's Church

February 18th, 2009 · Posted by stevejb

Reverend Ian Paisley is a church leader in Belfast, Northern Ireland who
is a pro-England Protestant extremist.

One fine Sunday a young Anglo-Indian who was thinking of converting
to Christianity happened to enter Paisley's church. He had been told
much about the reverend's strong preaching, and wanted hear a sermon
himself. But as he sat down in a pew, the reverend broke off his
sermon and pointed directly at the young man.

"What are you doing in this church?" he demanded.

"Well, ah, I'm thinking of becoming a Christian, so, er, I
thought I'd just attend your sermon today," the young man stammered.

"This, sir, is not a church for the castoffs of oriental heathendom."
Paisley thundered. "If you want to join a church, find one that admits
rag-tag coloreds like yourself. This is a church that believes the
United Kingdom has no place for Catholics, Jews and the dark races!"

The young man unhappily went home and began to pray.

Hours passed. He continued praying fervently.

Suddenly the room was filled with light, and a majestic voice came from
down on high. "You pray very sincerely. How can I be of help
to you?"

The young man was awe-struck to know that God Himself had answered his
prayers. With folded hands, he stated his purpose: "My Lord, I would like
to get into Reverend Paisley's church."

God chuckled. "Well, son, I'm afraid I can't help you. I Myself have been
trying to get into that church for the last 30 years.

computer joke

November 8th, 2008 · Posted by carinder


For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.

For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Tell them it's a feature
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

What are the first 2 letters in alphabet?

November 6th, 2008 · Posted by stevejb

The first 2 letters in alphabet are A and L

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